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First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

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So 1st post and not even sure what to say other than hello ! Welcome to my world and hope this journey of discovery is a good one for all

Thanks to my Handsome man (Hi Devon!) For giving the kick in the butt I needed to start righting again!

 

I wanna…

It has been a long time since I have made love to a woman, sure there have been quick hook-ups to get off and 3-ways with a hot man joining us, but I mean truly made love to a woman, I crave that.

I crave this.

You know, the kind of night where everything is just right. You go out and you all laugh, you giggle, you enjoy the night and, you start to flirt. Slowly at first to just tease the waters, but then she starts to flirt back.

The giggles turn a bit naughtier, the laughs end in sighs, casual touches seem to linger longer on each others arms with your fingertips softly tracing across her skin as you slowly move your hand away.

The night out comes to a close and you drive her home, just to make sure she gets there safely of course. As you walk her up to her door, you crack a joke about how funny this must look- walking her up to her door like a date and she says “if this is a date, would it end here with a kiss?”  before she slowly brings her lips up against yours.

She takes your breath away with that kiss and before you know it you are pulling her closer to you and kissing her deeper. You hear her moan at the same time you feel her body shutter when your hand moves to her hair to pull her in and deepen the kiss.

It is all you can do not to grab her right there and rip that shirt off- but this is new, this isn’t just play, this is something more so you slow down. You take a deep breath and bite her lower lip. She moans in delight and pulls away. As you ask her what is wrong, she just smiles and unlocks the door.

You want her, you want her hands on your skin, her lips on yours, you want her so you slowly softly whisper in her ear that it has been a very long time and she just smiles at you as she pulls you by the hand into her bedroom.

You know the kind of night I am describing don’t you? Just thinking about it is making my panties so very wet.

I want to see her standing there, see that shy but yet brave look on her pretty face as we start to kiss and explore each other’s bodies for the first time. I want to hear her moans as I lay her down on the bed to take her skirt and panties off. I crave hearing the way she would groan as I slid between her legs to trace her pussy lips with my finger nails.

I miss seeing the way a woman shivers as I open up her lips to run my tongue along her clit, down to her sweat wet pussy and then back up to lick that clit a little harder. I get wet thinking about how wonderful it would feel taste her, to feel her body tense up as my fingers start to enter her and my lips wraps around her clit to suck on it gently.

I have to touch myself when I think about this lovely woman arching her back and screaming as she cums, squeezing my fingers tight as she is coating my face with her juices.

hummm, so close to cumming all over my fingers as I think about kissing up her body to those lovely breasts, wrapping my hands around them to hold them up to my mouth so that I can suck on each nipple. Making her squirm and start to beg for more.

I can’t tell you how badly I want to roll over on my side, slide my hand back into her pussy as we start to kiss, as her hand starts to roam down my body until her finger tips find my rock hard clit and starts to stroke it matching my hand on hers.

Oh I want her, I want her to cum with me. I want us to be kissing as she starts to lose the ability to touch me. I want to see her eyes slide shut as I reach into her toy box to grab the dildo, I want to her hear beg as I move between her legs, putting the toy between us and thrusting it deep inside of her as if it was my own living cock.

Grabbing her hair hard, I want to watch as she starts to lose control. My hips forcing my toy cock deeper and deeper inside of her, pounding harder and harder till she tightens up and shudders her cum flowing out of that wonderfully tight pussy and my cum flooding her sheets between her legs as we both cum so hard that our bodies start to float.

I want to lay there in her bed, my body against hers as we try to catch our breaths only to start giggling and kissing again.

Yes, that is what I am craving tonight- how about you?

Make love to me.

 

Meet me by the door when you come home after a long day at work.

Reach out and stroke my face with your fingertips before sliding your hand
around to the back of my neck to wrap in my hair as your other hand
reaches out to wrap around my throat.

Squeeze it tightly, you know how that puts me right into a wild
submissive state and you can already smell my body surrendering to your
desires.

Slide your mouth gently over my collarbone, graze it with your teeth.
Bring your lips up to my ear, whisper softly “tonight, you are all mine
bitch.”

Walk me into the bedroom, stand me there as you slowly take off my
clothes. Kissing each part of my skin as it is revealed to you. Take my
shoulders and push me down onto the bed so that your cock is even with my
mouth.

Lift my chin up with your fingers and smile at me as you slowly guide you
that gorgeous cock into my lips. Stand there and enjoy your own personal
slut as I worship your cock with my red lips and hot wet mouth.

Just as I am about to cum from from pleasing you, reach back to pull my
head back by my hair and tell me to lay back on that soft bed.

Run your fingertips down my body slowly, stopping every once in a while to
kiss where you touched.

Part my legs gently and run your tongue along my lips until I am begging
to please please taste me, at that moment dive in and eat this pussy like
it is your last meal on earth.

Own this clit with your teeth as your fingers start to enter me, look up
and see my eyes roll in the back of my head as my legs start to shake, my
ass tightens and I coat your face with my cum.

Smile down at me as you slide up my body and then side your cock deep
inside of my still clenching cunt. Moan as I start to lick my juices off
of your lips and then say no.

One hand holding my wrists down, one hand wrapped tightly around my
throat, you look down at me as you are deeply thrusting inside of me.
Stare at me as you growl out “Mine” and feel me cum once again even harder
all over your cock, balls, and thighs.

Hold me down tight as your words throw me over the edge, repeating then as
I scream out and ride the most intense orgasm of the night. Growl “Mine”
again right before you lean down to leave your bitemark deep on my chest
and cum deep in of me.

Hold me close as my eyes slide shut and whisper in my ear that you love me
as I drift off to sleep. Promise me next time you will mark every inch of
my body as yours with your belt and kiss me before tucking me in tightly
and leaving the bedroom.

I so adore you and every touch you leave on my skin.

Take me…..

Slide your hands in my hair, Kiss me deeply.

Push me down on to the bed and slide down between my legs, push them open with you with your hands and bring your lips down to mine.

Run your tongue up and over my sweet hard little clit, as you start  to slowly work your fingers up into my tight pussy.

Feel me gush as you continue to slowly finger fuck me, biting my clit til I scream and cover your face with my hot sticky sweet cum.

Bring your mouth to mine, kiss me deeply letting me taste myself on your lips as you slide your cock deep inside of this hot wet cunt, making me moan out in delight.

Look into my eyes as you make love to me and tell me I am yours. Bring my body to the point of no return as your balls tighten and your breath comes in gasps.

Wrap your hands around my throat as you bite my lips and call me your whore. Bite my cheek hard, marking me as your bitch while you coat my womb with your cum.

Lay your head down on my chest to catch your breath as your fingertips trace my lips. Hear me giggle as your fingertips move up to trace down my nose to the tip, laughing yourself as you make me breath deeply and feel my body shake in one last climax.

I love laughing with you, I love talking to you, I love sharing you with the ladies you also love because it makes you happy  and that makes me smile, but most of all I love you.

Today

Just not doing too good today,  I mean I know there’s nothing that anyone can do to make it a better day other than myself so I don’t say anything to anyone.

My car is down again, and I know it just going to take a little bit to fix it I just need to help to have someone fix it and I don’t know who to ask anymore, I know I can ask a friend but everytime I do he tries to touch me and grab me and kiss me I don’t want to be with him and I think I’m rude when I tell him no all the time. Mostly because he does help me with my cars. 

I bought a bike figured that way I can work out and get in better shape but it’s too big for me too tall I mean I’m too big for it. So need help taking it back to the store and once again that means I have to ask somebody for help I hate having to ask people for help I’m an independent strong woman and inside of me is this little girl who just wants to be held today and I’m loved and that things are alright. 

I don’t want to be seen as a whiny needy person because I can be seen that way, I just know that today I’m having a bad day and that it is up to me to make it a better day because no one else can.  unfortunately, today I just wish….. 

So Why don’t you date? 

 I was asked the other day this question by my Co worker who knows I am poly. I just told her I “just don’t feel like it, I just don’t have time with this move and all” I didn’t really her the truth- that I didn’t really even date before I met handsome man. 

Oh sure, I screwed around – alot, but I am pretty sure not one of those guys even knew my middle name and they sure the hell did not take me out on a date. 

Handsome man took me out to see the Christmas lights this last year and what I did not tell him,  is that I almost started crying when he put his hand on my back while we walked and looked at lights. I don’t know if he ever knew how much that meant to me, just that soft caress on my lower back that wasn’t looking to go further down and grab my ass. 

Well I told him “I’ve never done this before”  I’m sure he just thought it was walking around looking Christmas lights, but it was also actually being taken out on a date like that.

 Tim was the first person to ask me out and take me out since high school and it has been years since then.  It was hook ups at a party,  an 8 yr relationship as a hidden mistress (so you know there were no date night outs for us) and fwb – but don’t expect the benefits that true real friends get,  you just get the benefits of his dick when he has the time to give it to you.

That first night out with handsome man, being treated like a lady,  reminded me that I’m worth so much more.  I’m worth going out on dates.

So if I am also poly,  just like my boyfriend, you may ask why don’t I go out on dates.

 The simple answer is I don’t know how to date, not truly date. Never learned the skills of dating. 

Hell,  I’m just now learning the skills of communication with a man that I love. I am still not too great at it. I have a hard time telling him how I am feeling at times when we talk and am so glad he has a way of helping think of the feeling and naming it so I can talk to him about it. 

The more complex answer is that I am sitting up my house,  I really don’t have time…  and see- I’m just really not that fucking interested in dating people I don’t even know or that I have to reach out to, I don’t know if I have that kind of energy anymore right now. 

I’m sure that’ll change over time,  things always do, but right now I really don’t want to have to go hunt  for someone to date.

 I’m scared to break those walls down again – what walls are left anyway,  most of them already all been broken down with handsome, 

I am scared to date again. 

I know it seems like I am so wrapped up in the bf I have now that I don’t reach out to find others, but that’s not true, I do talk to other men. I just don’t get all “I want you now” sex talky with them because I wanna wait and get to actually know them a bit – but it seems like a few days of talking and they just lose interest or push dick pic and I lose interest.  

I still talk to old friends and old lovers and I love those friendships,  but right now between full time work, babysitting on the weekends and still trying to finish the  move in and setting up my other full time at home business, me time is hard to come by. 

That’s another reason why I love date night so much,  it’s a night where I can just relax and I can just be with someone I care about and I can lose all that stress of regular day living.  I can just enjoy that time that we get touching and talking and spending time together. I can feel like a beautiful wanted woman on date night without any regrets and I love that. 

I really am happy right here where I’m at in my life.  that’s not to say that if some man ask me out on a date I’d say no because I wouldn’t- I’d say yes, but that doesn’t mean I want to have to go hunting for some man to ask me out

I am, however now having great fun today flirting shamelessly with my neighbor guy that I heard having massive sex last night. I saw him this am and said Hello Sir, with the added emphasis on Sir (most after hearing all I heard last night and playing till I came twice too lol) he just looked at me, said hello and winked! 

 I’m really okay where I am and if I ever come across as too needy,  I know he’ll tell me that to back off,  he has no problem telling me it!! But I really do try my best not to get to that point. 

A doll’s life too

Oh my gosh, such a beautiful better day today. 

I got my positive groove back!!! 

A few days ago I posted a blog about my gbaby’s dolls and how they kinda twisted me up, but our darling boyfriend reminded me that not all growth and life changes are bad. 

Maybe Ms. Dark haired barbie decided to branch out and go explore poly knowing that she is loved deeply by the blondes and has a safe home base with a loving couple.  Maybe she is just out visiting different swinger parties and dungeons like she used to in the past. 

Or maybe she is just busy setting up her new place and getting it ready for more fun date nights with a hot sexy man that makes her scream in delight, cry in peace, giggle in enjoyment, and makes her use her brain till it hurts. (believe me, she is so happy that there are others that meet his wide array of needs because owie!!)  

Or maybe, just maybe, they are just damn barbie dolls and my gbaby prefers blondes lol 

Ahhhhhhh yes

Some times a submissive needed to be held, kissed, cuddled and reassured. 

Sometimes  a good submissive needs a touch of a a reminder that they really are a good sub even when life gets overwhelming and they haven’t felt very submissive lately. 

And sometimes, a stubborn feeling submissive needs to be reminded of her place (head down ass up), her mission (to bring pleasure), and that her Maestre is serious about her loving herself and taking care of herself while following his directives. 

This submissive needed all of those things today and yet got so much more!   

My sense of inner balance has been off for the past few days (weeks) and try as I might I just could not find that inner peace I needed to right it. 

Today I was handed that inner peace through leather and steel caresses followed by tears and giggles. 

You can read me so very well :), thank you Maestre