Valentines and Vacations

So yesterday  was Valentines and i have to say, it was one of the best ones I have had in quite a while and it osnt over yet because starting Thursday I get to be spoiled with a two-day road trip with my handsome man to go down and spend some time with his lovely wife 🙂

I can’t wait to get to see new things I have never seen before as well getting to spend two whole days with him and an evening with a lady I would really like to become better friends with.

I won’t say I’m not starting to get nervous, because I am. I am getting that little tingle of the fear of the unkown.But, I so am not backing out of this time together.  

So back to Valentines  !  Why was it such a great day?  Because it started with getting to say good morning and chat with a very hamedome man that makes my heart skip a beat(Hi Devon!!)  And then got to work and was given an awesome coffee cup and Balloon by two very good friends.  That meant the world to me to see that and to know that I’m important to them. 

Valentine’s has always been a very special day to me because it was the Day celebrated love with my children,  I just made sure that they knew that no matter what I always always love them.

It’s not really a day about gifts (but they’re kind of nice) I say that because that’s never been the high point of our Valentines,  I never expected a gift because I’ve never gotten one and that’s not saying anything bad-  it’s just how it is and it just what it was.

My grandbaby was my birthday, my Christmas, my valentines, she is the most amazing gift I’ve ever received and that’s because she helped me come back to life.

 the people that love me made sure to tell me that they love me and that’s what made it important day. 

And it’s funny because I also really enjoyed hearing that the man that makes my heart skip a beat surprised his lovely wife and they spent the day together.  It feels so good to be able to be happy for people and to say yay!!!

 it’s really really nice, it’s something I haven’t experienced before with someone that I was falling in love with. I was always happy for Keith and Donna when they got to spend time together but they’re really good friends and I really care about them.

 I love the fact that I can be happy that Devon and his wife (or Devin and his girlfriend) can have a great time together.  I look forward to being able to do that more often.

What makes it weird and strange for me is because there’s still that little voice inside of my  head that says “well, are you jealous? Why aren’t you jealous? You should be, this is the man you love and he’s happy with another woman.”

 But something Dev.said to me a a while ago about Dean really really Rings true – I’m not jealous of him or the person he’s with, I don’t think she’s any better or any prettier or anything else than me, I’m jealous of the time that they’re spending together. Time we don’t have or  that I don’t get to have.

 this does not happen in this relationship, or at least I haven’t felt it in this relationship very much because I get the time to talk to him and get the time to see him and it’s amazing.

I love that he supports me and that I am free to be a beautiful woman and that, even though this relationship is just starting out,  I really think that is one of the best that I’ve ever had. Just feels so right it feels,  so like I belong here.

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Author: gorgeousbiggirl

Exploring and enjoying life

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