I do love him. I know I say it too often, but I do. And I love sharing him with beautiful ladies that truly do love him also. Just feels so right.
This is my first truly really poly relationship and today just feeling a bit out of sorts. “there are no places in poly” he told me last night, and woke up this am feeling a bit lost.
You see in my family I was the unneeded one, I did my own thing, I came and went as pleased, no one asked where I was going or had time to worry about where I had been. (not throwing a pitty fit-just making a statement), maybe that is why I love BDSM so much (besides the awesome play! And emotions) I have a place. I am a submissive (hi Maestre!) a smart caring woman, and a little. 🙂
With past relationships I had a place, a second/a third/a babygirl, but never loved equally.
He says that I am loved never the same but equally, and really that is perfect because we three are not the same ladies (how boring would that be?) we each bring a hellva alot of great things and life to his table that is so different than each other. (I love how she has her strong eye rolls and how the other she can say “fuck you” to him!)
I am loved for different reasons but still loved and I am not used to this, but craved it so badly for so long that I am worried I am going to mess up.
I know I need to knock this shit off, that even if I mess something up-guess what, that is life and it can either be fixed or it can’t-but I can’t stop living and being me!!!!
In my day job, I do amazing work to help families survive, I get to help breastfeeding moms! In my part time job, I do amazing work to fulfill Fantasies and have great phone sex with pretty awesome men.
As a little, I enjoy life and help to “bring the fun” but also. I get to grow in love. As a submissive, I am home. I am where I belong.
I have my place, my role, in my life. I just need to get some damn self confidence. Because this right here, this is what I have craved my whole life.
I just need some help to remember sometimes.