When you know… You just know. 

Isn’t it funny how people say that there is no such thing as true love at first sight, but yet others say that when it is right, when you meet “the one” you just know.?

I used to believe that you could only love, or you were only supposed to love just one person at a time and I went many years feeling like I wasn’t good enough to be “the one” I didn’t have enough to offer to be that one.

 Now that I am in my first truly open and loving relationship IONSHIP,  I can finally understand that I don’t have to Try  (and fail)  to be the one because there is no way one man or one woman can fulfill every desire another person has.  

Anyway, the reason behind this blogs is because today on Facebook this pic came up, 

This is Tim, he is no longer alive, he was gone less two yrs after this night. I miss him so much today.

The first time I saw him was a coffee date that turned into dinner. The moment I saw him I bit my lip, smiled, and hugged him. Yes enter here the sappy fireworks and butterflies) we laughed and talked for hours.  This pic was from our second date. There is now way I would have worn this outfit if not for him pushing me into torrid and putting me in it. 

 He left because he got cancer and went back to his ex. I wish I would have known then what I know know, it truly is ok to love more than one.  He taught me to open my heart and feel with love again. I wish I would have told him out loud that I loved him. 

And then about twenty minutes after that pic came up, grandbaby and I were looking at pictures in my phone and this one came up… 

(Oh my gosh, I look like a dork in these pics!!) 

This is our handsome man and I love him so much,  even tho I’m m working  on not saying it so much because I know it can get irritating. 

You might as well go back up and reread the first time I met Tim because that is almost the same damn way.  

Met for coffee that ended with him helping me shop for taco stuff for dinner. I don’t think I have laughed so much in years. I quit dating because I was dumped by a person that I thought cared about me, I was abused verbally and mentally by a man that I thought loved me before and I didn’t want to get back into that again. But the moment he hugged me goodbye that day, I was willing to try one more time. Yeap, bit the lip, lit the fireworks and couldn’t wait to kiss him. 

It took what felt like forever for us to finally get to have a second date and that is where this pic is from. He kissed my cheek and I was joking about him eating my face off. There is no way I would have went there without him threatening to toss me out of his car if  I didn’t.  He even took me to the world of Torrid  later also. 

 I know I am far from perfect and so is he, but he makes me feel gorgeous. I am learning some hard lessons (hard for me because I have never had to learn them nor have had communication like this) about myself and about enjoying life without expectations, even tho sometimes I really want to beg for them.

 I am learning what loving a man that openly loves others is about and sometimes it really isn’t easy, but then he tells me that I am just as important as they are and it is worth it. 


So this is me and I plan on smiling like this for many more yrs to come. 

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Author: gorgeousbiggirl

Exploring and enjoying life

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