I have my own private little space, my own private little spot, it is all mine and no one else shares it.
I am sure many can see it, but only a few truely know for sure and even less would ever say something- even if they thought they knew, some times I wish they would see me.
Sometimes I wish they would ask, but then I would just lie to them and blow off their worries, because that spot is mine and mine alone.
I MAY share it and let you touch it, but you will never own it like I do.
When I want to escape, be in control, go to a happy zone all I have to do is look down.
It hasn’t been touched for a while now but when I want to feel better, I just have to run my finger along side of it and it sends chills up my spine.
That spot has been well used and, even though I say I dont need to go there, I don’t need to play with it, I know I will give in and play with it again someday soon. I feel the pressure building and sometimes just need the release playing in that spot brings.
There are many different ways I can touch that spot.
Many different little touches that feels so good.
Plus, where it is- I always have a way of saying “oops I accidentally touched it again” and no one (except for one, I am sure he notice) would question me upon glancing at it.
Now that I no longer work in a kitchen, it has been a whole lot harder to blow off questions though. I do miss that waffle iron.
It used to be how I coped when I didn’t think I could, but they also serve as a reminder that I am too damn strong to let things make me feel lost today even when I don’t feel like I am.
I miss touching my spot somedays but it is mine and I can run my fingers over it and remind myself that it is right there waiting for me to comeback and visit it anytime I wish.