When i first started down this path in this new relationship, I was told, and had read, that one of the most important things in a relationship is communication.
I knew my skills sucked but didn’t realize how badly until the last few days. I feel like I let stress take over my life and then expected my boyfriend to make me all better on date night, getting pissy when he couldn’t read my mind.
He tries so very hard to make sure we all know we are loved equally and I can’t thank him enough for that and for all he does for us. It can’t be easy at all!
I thought being a woman loving a poly man was hard sometimes, but yesterday, and last night, I got to see what being that poly man was like – somewhat.
That is a position I don’t know if I would have the mental calmness to take on and it really can’t be easy with a ditzy chick that worries about almost everything and has such damn insecurity that she has let it interfere with just about every relationship she has been in!
We found a book at the book store one day, “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” he pointed out that I so need that book to help balance myself out and after the last few days I can’t agree more.
I do let myself dive into myrterism and then whine and complain when I don’t feel my needs are important to others, how can they be when I tell others they aren’t?
I saw this quote this morning after I got in from my long drive home,
“The world will not put a value on you greater than you value yourself,”
Boy, how true us that? He keeps showing me I have value and I keep denying it, even tho I do know it is true. I have so much value not only as a mom grandma, girlfriend, but also as a woman and a person, I know these things, so why I become a toxin person and spill crap all over the people I love?
I love how a dearest lady told me that from now on she will just knock me upside the head next time she sees it coming on!!!
I am such a lucky lady, but damn so so can’t wait to get to feel his teeth on my skin again soon.