I am still new at all of this but I have to say, this last year has been an amazing experience.
I think some of the best parts are that I am learning the difference between needs and wants, learning that feelings are just those – feelings! And while they are important, we are the owners of them. I am also learning that just because my boyfriend is attracted to others – it doesn’t take anything away from his attraction to me. (My behaviors is what lowers that) and may have been one of the hardest lessons.
In the past, I used to let my insecurities run rampant and expect others to make me feel better, secure, wanted.
In the past, I didn’t have to learn to acknowledge what I am feeling, face that those feelings, or do anything to deal with them.
But this is not the past, this is now and I get to have wonderful experiences to help teach me that I am in control of my feelings – not the other way around. I am responsible for dealing with them and allowing myself to be happy, even when I don’t think I can be.
I live my life now in ways that I want to so I can be secure in myself and in the knowledge that I really so bring alot to the table relationship wise, that just because life gets busy doesn’t mean I am not important. 🙂 I just need some reminders sometimes tho (lol) and I get those in good night kisses texts and hello gorgeous good morning ones.
I got a bit twisted a bit back because boyfriend was having so much fun flirting with other ladies, old beliefs came back to the forefront and I had to learn from them because I love this man and this relationship.
I also took a good hard look at myself. – am I meant to be poly? I meant to be here am I honest with myself and honor my needs also?
I have fun flirting with other guys, it is exciting and fun. Does it take away from my excitement when I get to flirt or be with him- hell no, actually it heightens it some because he is the one that knows me, the person I can share this with and he understands it and me. 🙂
That doesn’t mean I don’t get worried about others being more exciting or stuff like that- but then we text, play, giggle, fuck, make love, and share fun times together. He reminds me he loves me in his own way, and I deal with those old beliefs.
Thank you for a yr of learning, passion, laughter, feelings, growth. and amazing sex!!!!! I love you handsome man cub!