Day 31, I think,. Lol slut shamed!!!

So some of you know that I do phone sex as a second job, well last night I was actually slut shamed by a phone sex caller!!

I have a caller that is really kinky, we have a lot of fun together. So last night when you called he was like oh your throat sound so sore, sounds like you have been getting fucked by a lot of men and I just laughed and said God I fucking wish!

During our conversation it went a little bit on the kinkier side with quite a bit of a taboo but God it was so fun. Before I knew it I was coming, he was coming, and we are just both having a really great time talking about something that is extremely something most people won’t talk about.

After he came we were just kind of being quiet on the phone and breathing and talking and he actually said “oh my God, you are such a fucking slut, how can you live with yourself talking about those kinds of things.”?

I was taking aback, I didn’t know what to say, the client is always right mostly on a sex call because we want them to call back and spend their money on us.

And he was the one that brought up the taboo stuff, I just went with it and ok got off on it too a bit.

I just laughed at him and said “well baby, you’re the one that called me. you’re the one that wants the slut that understands exactly what you need in the middle of the night.”

He just laughed out loud and told me it was true, but in the end of the day- I’m still just a pay as you go whore.

Wait, what??? Well then you need to be paying this whore well and get stepping!!!!

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T-13 days. This day in pictures.

When I started this journey I wanted to have pics of everyday to see the changes-if there were any. Getting sick threw a hickup in that but now it is time to get my ass moving. I want to be 350 lbs by April 16, 2018 I want to see the changes in my body and feel healthy again.

So here is today in pics.!!!!

Day 26 in pics

Being sick is not helping but I still just keep trying lol.

Today I need to remember I am doing this for me. Not to compete with anyone nor to say hey look at me, but for me to look back on and say that this is something I worked hard at for me.

Battling with huge passive aggressive feelings tonight, but I don’t need to go there, I am worth so much more that that behavior.

Day 22 – choices have consequences

So I got to work slowly but surely yesterday only to have my boss send me home due to being in so much pain and looking so wiped out.

I wish I could stay home today as well but with that choice comes having to use up my saved up leave time as well as looking bad in front of my new supervisor so I will be there!

For today’s positively, I chose my tummy and the scars on it.

In my belly button, there is the scar from having it pierced as well as that cute smiling face scar that proves my membership into the fixed women’s club. No more worries about baby making for me.

Around my belly button are the stretch marks from carrying two beautiful babies. My most proud scars.

Above that, the scar between the unfinished tattoos, that is the scar that saved my life. It is from my gallbladder being removed. I choose to have it removed the old way and because I did that, I have a humongous scar, but also because I did that, I am alive today. My gall bladder was extremely infected and did indeed burst the moment they removed it.

My tummy is beautifully large, I am working more and more everyday day to mix up my exercises so that my tummy gets tighter and that is slowly happening 🙂

I am proud of the choices I am making today!!!

Day 15, half way to goal

And today what I like about me is my laugh.

My kids don’t like it because it is too loud, I laugh too much they say, but I love it.

I love how it conveys so much so much joy, so much passion, and yet- if you know me, you can also hear sadness in it when I am trying to hide it, when I don’t want just anyone to know that I am hurting about something or dealing with thoughts I don’t want to have to deal with right at that moment.

I love laughing, mostly during amazing sex and wonderful beatings when I hit the wall of pain and pleasure and break through it, when my partner forces me to breath, when he calls me the name he knows that will throw me over the edge, when my body finally let’s go and gives into the pain and pleasure when all I can do is ride the waves and laugh in joy, when my little comes out to play and I just laugh.

My friends tell me it sounds like sunshine and my callers tell me it is the wickest evil little laugh they have ever heard.

I have fought so hard to get my laugh and smile back this last week, and no matter what I am not going to loose it again.

Ten

Nipples, they are so much fun. They provide food, comfort, and fun little toys to play with.

I never breastfed my kids but I have to say that later age lactation is pretty fun. I love to feel how full they get when I really work at it, it is like when my period used to come. The bummer part is the trade off of them being so sensitive that sometimes they hurt.

I really really love how it feels when my bf and beautiful women rest their heads on my chest as we are cuddling and suck on them. I love how it feels when his hands grab them hard as I am riding him. I love how it feels when she lowers her mouth down to them to slowly lick and nurse on them as I am cumming.

I love to have them played with! I used to be able to handle rougher play, but lately they are so damn sensitive that I have to say my safe word alot sooner than I want too.

I really want to get them pierced, but am also nervous about the pain. When I do get them done I will stop working on lactation, I’ll miss the fullness but also so looking forward to trying something I have always wanted to do.

So here is to my hard nipples that make me orgasm like a mad woman and smile like a demon when played with!!

10 in pics

Ok I am not liking this. Lol I forgot how hard it is to see a pic when I feel so different. I feel thin, I feel… Not this big that is for sure.

I am blessed beyond words but still hard to accept that I may never be thin again, but I will be healthier than now.

I know that exercise is paying off and it is a process

But damn my ass is hot in yoga pants!!