Day 15, half way to goal

And today what I like about me is my laugh.

My kids don’t like it because it is too loud, I laugh too much they say, but I love it.

I love how it conveys so much so much joy, so much passion, and yet- if you know me, you can also hear sadness in it when I am trying to hide it, when I don’t want just anyone to know that I am hurting about something or dealing with thoughts I don’t want to have to deal with right at that moment.

I love laughing, mostly during amazing sex and wonderful beatings when I hit the wall of pain and pleasure and break through it, when my partner forces me to breath, when he calls me the name he knows that will throw me over the edge, when my body finally let’s go and gives into the pain and pleasure when all I can do is ride the waves and laugh in joy, when my little comes out to play and I just laugh.

My friends tell me it sounds like sunshine and my callers tell me it is the wickest evil little laugh they have ever heard.

I have fought so hard to get my laugh and smile back this last week, and no matter what I am not going to loose it again.



They come in so many forms and this week had plenty! 

This week started off so damn amazing! I love laughing and giggling over silly things with the boyfriend and then being put on my knees and getting to be his slutty submissive. 

Gods I had the most amazing time. Even got tucked into bed with the sweetest kiss.  Swoon lol lol 

Punch #1 to the brain – editedt- we talked this all the way out and it is done, we are all good. 

B) I can understand the request I can understand where it’s coming from and I do respect that 100%.

Punch #2 to the heart- 8 years, 1 year, and 1 message. We were together- he and I- as man and mistress for over 8 years. We had so much fun and I knew my place, I was never a threat even though I loved him.  Last year she found out and I was dumped off along side of the roadlike an unwanted puppy. I hurt so badly but D and his pet pushed me to work on me, get to know me, start to love me again. Then boyfriend and I went out for coffee, I was smitten right away, fell in love again and faced the one year anniversary of the last time L and I saw each other together by making amazing new memories!!!! God’s I so love making sundaes!!!! 

This week he changed his number and messaged me from the new one. It was like a punch in the tummy. I cried, told bf, answered ex back to say I was not interested, and then he used an old number to tell me he was just checking on me, didn’t want to see me again. That opened up a whole lot of crap in my brain to deal with. 

Punch #3- time for the body now I guess, I got my first ever yeast infection!!!!  I have worked so hard to avoid these cuz my old best friend used to get them and always so sick. I used to think she was just trying to get attention… Nope I was wrong. This is hell.  

I feel like I have been cunt punched and that is on my hard limit list (at least for right now). I would much rather have my ass cheeks punched! 

Thank goodness for science and doctors that know how to use it cuz this medicine rocks and I am start to feel better – but owie. This sucks!!! 

 I can’t wait to feel back to myself.!! And Hummm that light cunt punch might have to be thought about…