Huts so good…

So many people that are starting in BDSM talk about being a “pain slut”, but there is so much more to being a masochistic pain slut than just enjoying a spanking.

I have the pleasure of both being a pain- loving masochist and playing with one. I love both sides of that coin and there is so much more to learn as I grow in my life as a sweet sadist.

I loved the way the cold metal of the cuffs bit into her wrists, watching as her eyelids grew heavy while her breathes quietly came in small gasps. I loved the way her body shivered slightly as she anticipated the next blow of leather against her sweet sweaty skin

My clit tingled as I watched her tongue dart from her pretty little mouth to taste the tear that touched her lip. That sweet salty intoxicating taste of pain that wrapped her body up in heaven.

I heard her gasp louder as she heard my whip rise up and watched her body twitch as she felt the wind just a fraction of a second before it’s leather fangs sunk into her delicate soft skin.

My cunt became soaking wet as her head fell back, her body swayed at the force of my whip, and her mouth opened wide in a silent scream. I wanted to hurt her more as her body surrendered to the molten burn of my whip and she started begging for more.

I stood back and watched with immense pleasure as her body slumped against it’s bindings and her my flew freely into subspace. She looked so stunning as her eyes fluttered under their closed lids, her tears ran freely down her face and that wicked evil little laugh of hers started, telling me that she was ready to be taken down off of the cross and held till she came back down to earth in my arms.

I was in heaven holding her and she, she is my sweet true masochist that feeds every evil part of my soul.

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When you make love to me

I love it when you make love to me.

When you lay me down on the bed and slide your body up next to mine.

When you run your fingers through my hair to wrap it tightly in your fist.

When you pull my head back hard.

When you take my breath away as you wrap your hand around my throat.

When you watch my eyes slide shut before you slap me across the face to bring me back to you.

When you whisper in my ear “No, my little slut, we are not doing this tonight” as you take your hand off of my throat, slide it down my chest to
wrap it around my breast and lower your lips down to kiss my mine.

When you slowly draw me into your kiss, making our hearts beat in time and our breaths coming in small rapid gasps.

When you lift your head up to look in my eyes, smile at me as you slide your fingers between my soft pussy lips to tease my clit until I am moaning.

When you start to bite my neck as my cum coats your fingers, sliding your teeth against my skin as you slide your fingers deep inside of me, holding
on tight as I thrash through my orgasm, softly marking me as one of yours as my body shakes and starts to calm.

When you kiss me deeply as you slide your fingers out of me and bring them up to my mouth to lick clean.

When you moan in my ear as you feel my tongue worship your fingers as if they were your lovely cock.

When you stare in my eyes as you slowly push your cock so deep inside of me, hearing me gasp as my soft cunt opens up even wider to accommodate
your thick cock.

When you feel me tense up as you slowly make love to my body, as you open up doors in my heart and allow my demons to try to rebuild walls so that
you can crush them down with each strong slow stroke of your cock deep inside of me.

When you guide me through my fear of being intimate as your body leads mine into ecstasy.

When you hold me tight as you suckle on my nipple and your cock starts to throb inside of me in time with my inner walls squeezing you tight.

When you moan against my breast as your cum fills my womb, marking me as your inside of my wonderfully tingling body as eyes slide shut and “I love you” slides out of your lips.

When you wrap me in your arms as the giggling starts and subsides into deep sleeping breaths.

When you wake me up with your cock down my throat, your hand deep inside of my pussy, and calling me your wet cunt, dirty bitch, fucking cum whore who craves a good hard beating and that is just what I am going to be getting before you are done with me.

Oh I love it when you fuck me.

Intensely 

I’ve known since little girl I’ve always been intense.

This last year has shown me that sometimes it’s okay to stop being so intense, mostly these last few days.

I have been learning alot about myself,  not all because I wanted to but because I want this relationship, these friendships, and my path that I am on right now to continue in the right ways. 

I love in full, I have always believed in the fairy tales of how when you fall in love you feel complete and “the one” will want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.

 I could never understand why relationships didn’t work for me, why each one that ended badly left me scared to try the new one on.

 I could never understand why relationships that did work longer were with married men who wanted to own me but also wanted me to go see others. 

Those relationships ended because I fell too hard and craved more attention,  but didn’t know then what I am learning from my bf now- that the attention I crave can and should come from me 1st. 

Why does learning have to hurt so much sometimes? 

To hear him be honest with me about not missing me as much as I miss him brought back memories of Larry telling me that he needed to end our affair because I was in too deep and that I gave up my own fun life to be available for him whenever.  I thought that is what one did as a girlfriend but also as a submissive.  Yes, it hurt hearing that but yet – made me want to spend sometime figuring out why I felt like I missed him so much, I mean- I don’t want a full time live in lover, I want this, I want the freedom this relationship gives me.  

Think when I say I miss him it isn’t me saying I want him around all the time not living his own life, or saying that I don’t feel connected to him, it is I miss the connection we have when we are alone together, laughing, going to the movies, kissing, and having amazing sex.  I guess what I should say next time I want to say that is what I miss doing or want to do again.  Instead of I miss you – I want to hold your hand at the movies again when we can please. 

I do not want to have history keep repeating itself in order for me learn and improve. I started down that path again and this week really opened my eyes. 

I want him to miss me when we can’t see each other,  but not because I keep telling him I love and miss him; I want him to want me in his life, but not because I act like I can’t live without him, but because I know that I can.  That I know I am not entitled to anyone’s time or feelings, but that I do love getting to be part of them. 

So where do I go from here? 

I learn that my love doesn’t lessen any by flirting and seeing others, it didn’t in the beginning of this relationship so why would it now? actually it seems to make it deeper because I get out of the mind set that he is “be all”  and I give the poor man a break from all the pressures of dating me when I am being needy and clingy.  That is a good thing. 

But I also learn and remember that giving both of us space is a good thing. He isn’t Paul, he doesn’t need to know my every thought or every little thing I am doing, but at the same time he is my Maestre, and I take that part very seriously,  so I do still want to clear things with him, I want him to have the power of some decisions in my life as my Dom. and there is the fine line I am learning to walk. 

I have a feeling a good sit down discussion is needed again so I can better understand that line of Dom/sub and Boyfriend/girlfriend because I want them to work for the both of us, both as partners and as separate people again. I love being with him and having him in my life. 

I don’t want to lose him as either of those things in my life and I don’t want to lose the person I am becoming so growth is necessary…. Yet again lol, but I love this life so it is worth all the growing pains 

Depression and phone sex

You wouldn’t think those two words would go together, but lately they have.

I know that the way to earn more money as a phone temptress is to put myself out there, advertise, write stories, be on the phone line, but lately I have just been wanting to go home after work, rest, and veg.

Weight is coming back on, checks are getting smaller, and I feel like I am super boring for my bf. Hard not to compare myself to other ladies when I so crave his hugs and talking with him, to the pout where I feel like I am bugging him and I don’t want to do that. I want to be that fun loving girlfriend again and I will be 🙂 

I sat down today and did the five steps of what, why, when, where and how about why I am feeling this way and right now, most of it comes from my office job and how depressing it is there.  I am not sure how to fix it or even if I have to as other are working on it.

And since there is only do or do not do, there is no try- it is time for me to get off my ass again.

Downloaded an exercise app for my phone, got healthy food, and am working the phones every night this week!

Now time to start writing porn!!! And then have a good time with myself – busy season need to chill out soon!! Lol 

Master’s new toy.

I was halfway through my shift of teasing and pleasing my lovely callers
at my phone job, when Master called me to say I needed to come directly to his house right after my fun times were done, that I was not to ask why,-just to get there.

Walking up to his house, I heard his other submissive giggling with
another girl, a voice I had never heard before. They were in the shed so I
walked in and introduced myself. It turned out that this new lady was
going to be Master’s new toy and she was really nice, we laughed and
giggled while getting to know each other better.

My sub-sister had the rope in her hand as she was told to have ready but
as we all started giggle, one of us thought it would be a good idea to tie
her up and have her ready for him when he came home, one of the worst
idea’s yet.

Master was smiling when he walked into the shed but that smile dropped when he saw what we had done without permission. He got the most feral look on his face as he wrapped his hand around my throat and growled that he was not happy with us.

We were quickly banished from the shed.

It was so hard having to walk away without getting to be with him tonight
while he played, but this was our punishment and we deserved it.

We looked back to see if maybe he would tell us to stay, but that did not happen.

It was with tears in our eyes as we walked to the house as we heard the
first hit of leather on her skin. We laid in bed cuddled up together as we
heard her start to moan, knowing that Master had started the second part of his playtime.

The waves of emotions rushed over me as I heard her giggle, I knew I
should be so happy for Master because I know how much he loves his playtime and I really was happy for both him and her, but at the same time that tinge of pain knowing that Master was enjoying someone else, hurt.

This was the first time I experienced this and I swore that I would deal
with the emotions with him honestly so that next time I will wait to do as
asked and will be able to even be happier for Master and his new toy,
because I really liked her and I love him.

Master came into the room later that night, stood before us looking at us
both for a few moments before tell us to move our asses over, he was tired and wanted his ladies wrapped around him right where we good girls belonged and would always be.

It felt so good to be wrapped up in his arms, to feel him hug her and then
me; to hear him kiss her forehead before he turned to me, looked me in the eyes and said “I love you too little one, now get out of your head and
get your ass to sleep.I promise to punish you properly in the morning my
good girl” before kissing my forehead as well.

Memories 

She walks into her quiet house looking around,wishing it wasn’t so quiet. Wishing there were whispers of lust coming from the couch, moans of passion coming from the shower, screams of delight and pain echoing from the bedroom.

She walks from room to room touching surfaces and bringing back memories of wild sex in this spot, giggles of joy in that one, moans over there, screams over there. 

Her hand comes across the spot in the kitchen where he bent her over the dishwasher and took her hard from behind. One of his hands in her hair and the other around her throat as she was gushing all over his hard cock and down her legs. 

She smiles at that memory.

Walking into her bedroom she sit down on her soft bed and looks out the bedroom door way into the hallway leading out to her front door. 

 Not such a happy memory there, as her eyes well up with tears. She remembers the last time he walked out of that door feeling that he was upset with her. 

She lays back on the bed and slowly slides her hand down her body, allowing her mind to wander back to how it felt the 1st time he touched her body. 

She shivers as her fingertips touch her nipples and moans quietly as her nails scrape against them making them hard.

Her eyes shut as she continues to rub her nipples a little harder each time till she arches back and cums.

Her breath catches as she rides these waves of orgasm, remember each and every time he sucked and bit her nipples making her cum over and over again.

As her body relaxes, her fingertips start their trail back down her soft body to her sweet pussy. She loves the feeling over her soft pubic hair being pulled and played with, wishing these fingers were his working their magic like they always do.

She opens her eyes, picturing him over her looking g down smiling at her as she starts to rub her clit, a little harder with each stroke till she is moaning his name out loud and her heart pounds in her chest.

She cums with his name on her lips, his eyes in her fantasies, and her hand deep inside of her hot wet cunt.

This is the best way to relive memories but now she wants to make new ones, so she picks up that phone to message him.

 If she can’t have the real thing- at least she can have the best phone sex in town! 

Make love to me.

 

Meet me by the door when you come home after a long day at work.

Reach out and stroke my face with your fingertips before sliding your hand
around to the back of my neck to wrap in my hair as your other hand
reaches out to wrap around my throat.

Squeeze it tightly, you know how that puts me right into a wild
submissive state and you can already smell my body surrendering to your
desires.

Slide your mouth gently over my collarbone, graze it with your teeth.
Bring your lips up to my ear, whisper softly “tonight, you are all mine
bitch.”

Walk me into the bedroom, stand me there as you slowly take off my
clothes. Kissing each part of my skin as it is revealed to you. Take my
shoulders and push me down onto the bed so that your cock is even with my
mouth.

Lift my chin up with your fingers and smile at me as you slowly guide you
that gorgeous cock into my lips. Stand there and enjoy your own personal
slut as I worship your cock with my red lips and hot wet mouth.

Just as I am about to cum from from pleasing you, reach back to pull my
head back by my hair and tell me to lay back on that soft bed.

Run your fingertips down my body slowly, stopping every once in a while to
kiss where you touched.

Part my legs gently and run your tongue along my lips until I am begging
to please please taste me, at that moment dive in and eat this pussy like
it is your last meal on earth.

Own this clit with your teeth as your fingers start to enter me, look up
and see my eyes roll in the back of my head as my legs start to shake, my
ass tightens and I coat your face with my cum.

Smile down at me as you slide up my body and then side your cock deep
inside of my still clenching cunt. Moan as I start to lick my juices off
of your lips and then say no.

One hand holding my wrists down, one hand wrapped tightly around my
throat, you look down at me as you are deeply thrusting inside of me.
Stare at me as you growl out “Mine” and feel me cum once again even harder
all over your cock, balls, and thighs.

Hold me down tight as your words throw me over the edge, repeating then as
I scream out and ride the most intense orgasm of the night. Growl “Mine”
again right before you lean down to leave your bitemark deep on my chest
and cum deep in of me.

Hold me close as my eyes slide shut and whisper in my ear that you love me
as I drift off to sleep. Promise me next time you will mark every inch of
my body as yours with your belt and kiss me before tucking me in tightly
and leaving the bedroom.

I so adore you and every touch you leave on my skin.