Food journal of a slacker… 

So in my quest to get healthy, I started eating right and exercising as well as walking! I could feel the weight start to come off but then started slacking big time. 

So this me narking myself off to my Maestre…

 I haven’t been doing a great job lately. Sure, I could use the excuse of the doc told me to slow down untill my heart exam came back clear, or that I really have crappy ass shoes that hurt my feet so bad I avoid walking, or I could just be truthful and say I am slacking and it is totally on me. 

Yes, I do miss videoing the exercises to show that I really did do them, but I am a grown ass woman and should be accountable to myself and my health 1st and then my Maestre. 

So time to be accountable, even if that means coming on here and tracking my workouts!!!! 

Living with others that purchase the food in the house makes it hard to stay focused on eating what I need to to be burning this fat and finding work out time is nearly impossible with them home – but I have a bedroom so that blowes that excuse right out of the water. 

But today is a new day and no time for excuses, I have a walk coming up in September thst I need to start getting ready for and a full movie that I plan on being fucked over the ottoman for the full damn thing!!!! 

One thing I haven’t slacked off on was eating breakfast and lunch. I have been sticking pretty steady to the oatmeal and fruit in the am’s 

and Subway spinach salads for lunch with dressing on the side, but maybe a little too much processed meat. 

I do need to go shopping and start making these at home. The price I pay for these everyday adds up and I  really need to start saving for my house and for a trip that I want to take in a few years. 

Dinners, on the other hand have been sucking and that’s been my downfall. Fried Chicken strips and really not healthy food, stuff that I need to stop being around. 

My body feels it tonight too!! I could not wait to go to bed, but when I got in here I was freezing and then hot and then freezing again. I guess this is what I get for being mean to my boyfriend when he said he was sick oops. 

 But, I really do need to start taking care of Maestre’s property again as well as honor myself and by becoming a hottest ass  GIF and the healthiest GIF I can be giggle!!!!! 

So let’s kick this weight in the ass,  jump start myself working again on being healthy and…. welcome to my journey,  I hope that by posting on here, where I know that he will read it, also will help me stay accountable to myself and to my Maestre. 

Beat me 

Push me up against the wall and wrap your hand around my throat. 

Grab my face in your hand and kiss me as if I was last drink of water on earth. 

Pull your hand back and slap me till my eyes water and your dick leaks. 

Push me down to my knees and force your hard cock down my throat, using these pretty lips for your pleasure while you bang the back of my head against the wall. 

Force me to swallow all of you as you grab my hair and pull me with enough force to me back up and over like a whore. 

I want to feel your hand, your belt, and the dragon’s tail beating me into your submission, I need to be reminded where my place is.

Force your cock in my wet pussy as you force our toy in my ass, shoving me into subspace and not letting go until I am screaming for you to fuck me harder. 

Feel my cum and blood trickle down my thighs as you pound harder and harder into me. Marking me as your slut as you rape my sweet ass. I need you. 

Slam one last time into me as you coat my walls with your cum and bite my neck as your marked tramp. 

Slowly pull out of me and lay me down on my belly as you clean us up and tell me what a good little whore I am for you Maestre. 

Hold me close and and listen to this heart that loves you. Tell me to cry and don’t let go until I do. 

Bring down the whip and open my soul. Wrap me in strong loving arms and hold me while I rebuild this foundation stronger that it was last time. 

Hold me and whisper those words I crave to hear in my ears. 

Bring me to life with your whip make me celebrate this life with your words. 

Tamed

Did you know that that gorgeous submissive with the sweet little side that is begging to give herself to you really is like a wild wild horse? 

Not that she needs to be broken and tamed, although this submissive does crave that, no you see- she needs to know where the fences are, where the valleys are, where they can run wild and still feel safe.

Just watch her when you touch her, see that spark that starts in her eyes
and before long you can feel it radiating through out her whole body.

When you bend down to bite her neck and tell her that no matter what she does or what she craves- she is yours. 

You take pleasure in watching what happens to her eyes. How they gloss over and slide shut when she is hitting that moment of pleasure where you can ask anything of her and she will do it with extreme passion.

Have you ever seen a horse that feels secure run? The way they know that they can go as far as they want and yet they can be safe. How free they feel when they know they can be held back from going too far and losing control while running wild and they know that there is a stronger force that is watching over them?

That is what your sweet submissive is showing you when you see her eyes roll shut and then she looks at you like you are the angel among high. She is starting her run and she knows that you will be there to guide her as she lets her wild nature take over.

She also trusts that you are going to be there to hold her as you walk her through her cool down/come down. She knows that you are going to be there to giggle with her little side when it comes out and takes over wanting to be a special treat.

Do you every wonder why a well trained horse can go from a wild running mare into the best trained ride you have ever had? Why that pretty submissive can go from a giggling silly girl to the hard fucking tramp that you love to fuck?

It is because they know where the rules are when they don’t need them and that  those rules won’t change when they do.

They know that their owner is proud of them and, while he may not always say it, he shows it and he expects them to do as he says without having to say it twice.

Show them that there are expectations and they will both do whatever they can to meet them, but treat them like just another horse in the field of many – that their need to understand why isn’t valid and they will start to wonder if they are valid, even if they know that they are. They just want to have that connection with you while in your strong arms to reconnect with their inner side as well.

That is  when the tame side of a horse and the child like side of the little you love begging you to wait, begging you to let them hold on to you just a little longer until that storm inside of them passes and then they look at you, smile at you, and you know they get it- they see the fences and they are home.

Day 2 of healthy eating while Maestre is away

Today was a good day for food I stuck to my diet really well I also have over 4000 steps in close to 4400. 

I am so proud of myself that I’m sticking with this even though I can’t share the pictures with him this week but I know that he’s going to look on here and,I know he will be proud of his girl,  I’m proud of me that’s for sure!!! 

So dinner is over and it’s about time to do some leg exercises right now I am up to 8 double leg lifts 15 single wig loose and 15 leg lifts to the side not to mention my stretching exercises 

it’s been a really good day and that little message this morning saying hi made my heart soar. 

Oatmeal and fruit for bfast!!! 

A big turkey breast and spinach salad!!!! 

Yummmmy beef and vegetables. 

Poly, places, moods

I do love him. I know I say it too often, but I do. And I love sharing him with beautiful ladies that truly do love him also. Just feels so right. 

This is my first truly really poly relationship and today just feeling a bit out of sorts.  “there are no places in poly” he told me last night, and woke up this am feeling a bit lost. 

You see in my family I was the unneeded one, I did my own thing, I came and went as pleased, no one asked where I was going  or had time to worry about where I had been. (not throwing a pitty fit-just making a statement), maybe that is why I love BDSM so much (besides the awesome play! And emotions) I have a place. I am a submissive (hi Maestre!) a smart caring woman,  and a little. 🙂 

With past relationships I had a place, a second/a third/a babygirl,  but never loved equally. 

He says that I am loved never the same but equally, and really that is perfect because we three are not the same ladies (how boring would that be?) we each bring  a hellva alot of great things and life to his table that is so different than each other. (I love how she has her strong eye rolls and how the other she can say “fuck you” to him!) 

 I am loved for different reasons but still loved and I am not used to this,  but craved it so badly for so long that I am worried I am going to mess up. 

I know I need to knock this shit off, that even if I mess something up-guess what, that is life and it can either be fixed or it can’t-but I can’t stop living and being me!!!! 

In my day job, I do amazing work to help families survive, I get to help breastfeeding moms! In my part time job, I do amazing work to fulfill Fantasies and have great phone sex with pretty awesome men. 

As a little, I enjoy life and help to “bring the fun” but also. I get to grow in love. As a submissive, I am home. I am where I belong. 

I have my place, my role, in my life.  I just need to get some damn self confidence. Because this right here, this is what I have craved my whole life. 

I just need some help to remember sometimes.   

Steps 

Getting started on this walking journey hasn’t been the easy, but only  because my body feels old most days.

Hells bells, I am 50 yrs old and been a couch potato for a while now, but my Dom said there would be rewards ahead for jobs well done and I like rewards! 

I was really hoping for that whipped cream covered cock to worship with my mouth for hitting 5000 steps yesterday- but seeing how it was my 1st day,  I came in 2000 steps short 😦   no creamy cock for this sweet sub.

Today was better than yesterday, hit 3100 steps, but damn these knees are feeling the burn for sure. 

I may not hit 5000 this week but getting better every day, and can’t wait to feel my Maestre’s arms around me, lips in my forehead, and her him say I did a good job!

When I am with you,

It’s not about sex.

It’s about feeling.

It’s about heat.

It’s about feeling that moment when you run your nails down my back and I cry out.

It’s about feeling the way my body becomes limp when you pull my hair back to expose my throat for your desires.

It’s about feeling the flutter of my pulse against your lips when you kiss my neck.

It’s about that whimper when your teeth bite down on the curve of my neck and I feel
your hot breath against my skin.

It’s about feeling the tensing of my body as you pull it hard against yours and you let your feral nature out to play.

It’s about feeling claw and bite marks as you decorate every part of my body- marking me as yours and making me squirm.

It’s about knowing that you are doing nothing to restrain me, but that my need to please you keeps me in my place.

It’s about the taste of your sweat on your lips when you kiss me, the feel of your skin on mine as you touch me, the
scent of your hair as you lean down to make sure I am ok, and knowing that your body aches, but you still want
more of what I crave to give you.

It’s knowing that I am
completely unrepentantly yours.

No, it’s not about sex.

You see, It’s about so much, much more. It is about how words go away and we operate on just feelings when I am with you.